Rochelle's Journal

Subject:	you betcha
Time:	5:07 pm.
Mood:	blank.
Music:	t n s..

so things are things, just as they always are. christmas was good. i miss joy. we see eachother everyday, but i still miss her. u know what i mean. but things have to be like this right now... cuz, im retarded. we all know this.

i dont know if you even read this anymore but if you do, thanks for the card. it was kinda funny cuz i was trying to guess who it was from and when i opened it and saw yer name i closed it real fast cuz it scared me! but i read it. simple and needed. thank you.

thought i had a lot to say... but ive been watching the little blinky thing for 5 minutes so i guess that's it. i hope everyone is doing well and im sure many of you would be surprised by how often i think of you.

Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.

Time:	11:43 pm.
Mood:	excited.
Music:	yeah yeah yeahs.

packing for CANADA!!!! its going to be unbelievable. gay clubs, alchy, joy, few friends, and nothingness! wont be back till tuesday. ive been waiting for this vaca for a while. i wish we could stay longer.

jen i hope you have a good show tomorrow! we're so sorry we can't come.

des, today was a good day. thanx for the pineapple! it was a real good talk too. it meant a lot to me. see you when i get back. be good and be careful of the knives at work cuz those band-aids are sick.

Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	start living and stop lying
Time:	8:04 pm.

im watching from the side line. mistakes. lies. who are you now.
______________________________________
tomorrow is official hamster day...we've decided a male is best, yes balls and all.

things are too good. shes too beautiful. THIS IS LIFE.

school is good. i really really like it. a lot more than work. i cant wait till i can go to school and get paid for it. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm with all the minks!!

day 16 of no ciggs. good for me. and hannah i forgot to say congradulations......so, congradulations.

now what to name my new hammy?....

Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Time:

9:40 pm.

my sister is now a licensed driver. everyone on the road...beware. she is also vice president of redmond high school.

mel and i are about to go out for ice cream.

my girlfriend has an amazing rac.

"i dont crrr. I'm the p-i-m-p!"

the park yesterday was way fun. MMMMMMMMmmmmm! fris!!

i love my new volcom backpack. its the little things, you know? like a new volcom backpack. photography is gonna be the shit!!! jordan and i are going to the dark room on sat. for my first assignment im gonna take black and white pics of diana doing a one armed pull up. crazy asian.

hey...dont worry. things always work out for you. until the next time we talk...its in the stars, pretty emo girl.

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Subject:	"you're some kind of miracle"
Time:	3:47 pm.

got my grades back....hmmm, a little A- and lets see, another A-, and oh look an A!!!
i'm really happy about it. good for me i say. so next quarter starts on monday... photography, sign language and research paper class. im excited. jordan and i are sposed to roam seattle today to take pics.

is it normal that last night i was driving...listening to an anonymous artist (whom i will refrain from mentioning the name of) and was having the cheesiest moment by myself and started crying i was so happy?! why would i ever admit and post that i dunno!? but it's weird to see your life turning around. i don't know why i want to use to word "cool" but to have your life go from stressful, draining, drama, lies, fake, blah blah blah....to some good friends, amazing relationship, good school and fam, blah blah blah....is just really cool.

206-949-8716. this is my new cell number and i have a billion minutes so i will no longer be receiving 300$ cell phone bills.

so canada was THE shit. the gay bar was so fucking cool, met cool girls that we took back to the hotel for a bit, we had a sweet suite, room service, plenty of cocktails....it was beautiful to share such a cool vacation with just us.

love the fucking love, eh idaho?!

**SELF NOTE: call jen and erin. god i suck!! but every time YOU call im at work!! and then i just suck.

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Subject:	"YOUR FACE!!"
Time:	4:33 pm.
Mood:	ecstatic.
Music:	t n s.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! IM ALMOST DONE WITH THIS FINALS SHIT!!! im done with my english portfolio, comm essay, comm presentaion, phil paper and all i have left is my phil final tomorrow night and then its all dont motherfuckers!!!! wooo hoo SPRING BREAK!!!

*sigh* oh god it feels good. im so excited for next monday...sam, sarah, joy and i are going to CANADA!!!! mmmmm good times.

jen and erin...i love you guys so much. even joy was like "at least we have jen and erin" cuz everyone else is full of PMS and being two faced. can we hang out more especially when im on spring break??!?!

so maybe next week joy and i will actually get our hamster. were going to the zoo next thursday. thank GOD for her THANK GOD FOR HER!!! or i think i would have lost my mind in all this madness.

jordan and i are gonna hang out and shes gonna teach me how to take pics so ill know before my photography class starts. shes funny.

des...u are still great. "i think youre even weirder than you used to be" "what happened to your face! your face!" pretty princess of mine.

im going to my 8 yr old cousins school tomorrow for lunch. he could pick one special person to come to school with him. makes me happy.

ps...my hair is like a boy. i am gay again. whew! that was a close one.

Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Time:

4:41 pm.

still in the process of hamster shopping. we found a really cute one yesterday....but we're gonna keep looking. tonight we're going to jen and erin's to watch scarey movie 2. its gonna be great.

so lets recap the fact that sunday night des made a great dinner for joy and i. then monday all three of us went shopping and played basketball. normal. always.

sarah...i dont know where i lost you...but i did somewhere. i dont know what to believe anymore. i just want the best for you but i just dont understand any of it either. but you are now somwhere different than we planned on being. member when we were in idaho....can you believe we drove there together?!?! just us!! thats so funny. i loved it. and we were gonna come back all shaman and meditating....but now look at us. sucks a big one.

everythings actually pretty calm right now. two more episodes of buffy and we've finished this season too. i think her and i need to get out of here and go do something crazy and fun. camping maybe. something. maybe with diana and lisa.

hope all is well with everyone.

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Time:

12:42 am.

tonight was as awesome as the night could have been without being with my girl. but we worked together today, and it makes work so fucking amazing!! shes at some basketball thing for the weekend. ah, i miss her. i miss my other half.

but tonight i got to see katie, layla, derix, julia, julie, elise, diana, melanie, zach, pinkos, kai, jen and erin!! it was awesome. i love my jen and erin!!!! i cant wait till joy watches scarey movie with us...believe me guys, she'll really love it and then i know youll REALLY approve of her.

mmmmmmmmm....things are so good!! she cleaned my rooms for me that lil devil. that means hamster time!! oh when she sings it makes me melt... "suga suga howd you get so flyyyy" we are so giddy still its sick. SICK i tell you.

i miss YOU. i hope youre doing good. it seems like you are and that youre happy. you're in my heart.

im going to bed now, im so at peace. its nice guys. i love everyone.

Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Time:

4:20 pm.

last night joy and i went over to monika and adam's. god drunk moni is amazing. her dragon jumped at joy and i...i almost pissed my pants. got to see moni's nipple and clit peircings as usual!

things with joy are really good right now. tonight we're having a date in my living room. damn my girl can sing!! i have a really big crush on her. ive been waiting for her. i think that if buffy and faith fell in love....it would be like how joy and i are. sept i dont kill vampires or have abnormal human strength. yup. but OH MY GOD to their SEX!!!!

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Subject:	i am "a pretty boy"
Time:	4:21 pm.
Mood:	ecstatic.
Music:	lauryn hill.

so this weeks is for sure a busy/errands/fun. a lot is being accomplished and i have much homework. this week we are cleaning my rooom at my mom's cuz next week we're getting babies!!!!!! well, baby hamsters. two of em so they wont be lonely. and only girls cuz im not trying to have balls drag on my hand when i hold them!! aawww babies! im so happy. jen told me her and erin are getting a kitty but i explained to her that joy and i arent to the kitty level yet. but who knows...if the summer comes and we're still together.... the "a-word" might be allowed to be said. (apartment) as of now, hamster in my room is how its gonna be. im not tryn.

so im waking up earlier every day to make my days last longer. last night diana got me a rose and i gave athy a balloon. im going to have dinner at athys weird restaraunt tonight...then doing homework....and then beutiful time with my girl. god things are amazing.

i had a dream hannah had a penis last night. weird. in any case, it was big. that has to mean something. can anyone analyze that for me?

anyways....in communications we have to invent a magazine with a group. i had the idea to do tattoos and piercings. its turning out real cool. so this weekend ill be up on this hill taking pics and doing a survey. i need to do 25 ppl with tattoos and/or piercings. any volunteers????

i am her boy. i am her girl. she is my boy. she is my girl. its real perfect. im so happy we've made it this far and we're still going strong.

Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.

Time:

10:50 am.

STORM STARTS SOON!!!!!!!!! ive been waiting all year!!! me and my baby are gonna go to all the ones on saturdays (only days it works with our scedules). im so fucking excited to see my sue!!

the weather has been beuatiful...i am definitely washing my car this week. lots of stuff to do....in a good way. i think this is gonna be a really good week.

*going to the zoo with joy
*washing our cars
*tanning
*get my brows done...sorry im a girl but its time!
*another picnic
*playing more one on one
*get our new ID's that we never got
*buy storm tickets
*homwework in the sun

sounds like a perfect fucking week to me!! oh happy days.

Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	i still miss idaho
Time:	11:29 am.

i paid for melanie to come up for the weekend. i saw her last night. she's pretty...it makes me laugh. so we'll be meeting up with everyone sometime this weekend. especially jen and erin!! mel informed me that on the 27th, it will have been 6 months since we broke up. my how time flies.

only a month left of this quarter. leanne is coming up next weekend...we talked, it was good.

i gotta say....even though ive been tired and theres a lot going on in school...i feel this weird calm. hopefully not as in "before the storm". things are just really good with joy. we've got our whole little flow of a schedule down. shes real perfect for me i think. she just makes everything real. i cant explain this. so im done trying...

im off to work.

love the love.

Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	"that shit was drippn off my chin!" kai u know what im talkn about!!
Time:	4:50 pm.
Mood:	impressed.
Music:	just the sounds of people typing in the lab.

huh!!! thats normal!! oh man life is so silly and full of it eh?!!?!

ANYWAYS...so last night kai and ashley helped me pick out some good porn. it was REAL funny. so today joy and i watched some of it. good times! girls are real hott. i cant wait till valentines day!! im gonna go shopping for that tonight. i wanna make my girl smile real big....cuz shes got the best fucking smile. and her little kid eyes......mmmm to big brown eyes!! something my wife's GOT to have. and gotta love those big lips!!

i must stop. i just get real happy about joy. shes NOOOOORRRRMMMAAALLLLL!!!!!!! thank fucking goddess. no fucking psycho mood trips, no fucking my friends, no attitude problems....but she doesnt take my shit and she is just who she is and proud of it. im infatuated.

tomorrow were gonna go get new ID's cuz our pics our ugly and from like years ago. then were gonna play basketball at the park and have a picnic. this is what life is supposed to be like. this is what ive been waiting for.

ps. midterms can suck my big fat cock!!

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	without you
Time:	6:58 pm.
Mood:	content.
Music:	my jazzy starbucks CD is the shit!!!.

last night ended up being a really important night in my life. for a lot of reasons. i see where she stands....where they stand...where i stand. "friends". but i do have a few REALLY good ones. kai and ashley really spring to mind yeah.

so we went home instead. and talked about the night before when i freaked out and got real scared. that night we both fell asleep crying and not touching. so we talked last night, cried like pussies some more....and i feel better. fear is not worth losing what we have. "we are different". and this is true. no matter what sucks at work, or who chooses to be a dick, or which ex is raising hell....i can always go home to her. and we can laugh and talk to my dad and watch buffy and make rice crispy treats and talk all night long. it makes me feel like im 16 again. its been a real long time. and i wont let any of you bring me/us down. cuz my life has really picked up due to me shutting certain people/shit out. im happy with the people i hang out with. drama is not worth trying to be friends with everyone.

love the love.

im going to go take a nap.

dancing at the club tonight. my girls gonna be dressing all femme. can we say boobies??!?!?!?

Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	eight hours ahead
Time:	8:37 pm.
Mood:	giddy.
Music:	mr. bob marley.

so with a drunk phone call i finally got to hear everything id been waiting for her to say. it was good to hear. i feel closure and like its a weight off of my shoulders...cuz that one hurt me good. im not sure why me...i never know why me... but im glad that it was something. and im glad that im not so easy to let go of. her tears last night came close to making up to the hundreds i cried over her.

"yeah. friends. blah blah blah!"

ANYWAYS....working with joy was the shit. i got to meet her dad today and he reminds me a lot of mine. last night was real beautiful.... she treats me perfect... but keeps me on my toes at the same time. lips and muscles. ass and titties. smiles and tears.

ARE WE PARTYING TOMORROW NIGHT OR WHAT GUYS?!?!? for my bday....any ideas where???

oh to tonight.

Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	"im so jealous of all the days that i wasnt in your life"
Time:	9:54 pm.
Mood:	pleased.
Music:	wilco.

so today was a real weird day. i never thought wed be friends again. or friends for the first time i guess. we cried, we laughed, we're dumb. british brat. partying with us all on saturday.

my girlfriend gave me a REAL good bday. made me an amazing present. we had an amazing two days together and shell be over later tonight...we work together tomorrow. god...i cant even explain. i cant believe shes real. im so happy i met her. im stickn at this ones side.

i feel happy. i skipped class today tho. no more of that. speaking of which i have to go finish writing my paper. it was good to see diana today.

i just wanna kiss my girlfriend.

Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

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